I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
