They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
