Where did you get a picture of my penis
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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