next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
