she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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