no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
