Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Duck Duck Cougar?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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