we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
