No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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