I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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