I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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