Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
