They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My vagina is officially offended.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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