We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
