he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
