So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
