I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
