just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize