I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I need moral support for this bender
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
