he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
