U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
