He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
