I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
