My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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