At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
