No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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