fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
