If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
