My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
