Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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