Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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