I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
