No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
