Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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