So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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