i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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