My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize