i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Let's get the cat blown out
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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