and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
