I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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