I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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