TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
