if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
