I'm so fucking centered right now
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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