checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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