i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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