I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
