turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
