He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
