You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
