That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize