Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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