I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
