Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
