I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
