Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
