I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
