I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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