we have officially lost it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
