Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
