Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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