I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
