thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
